I haven’t told many people about what is going on. It’s hard to tell people when I don’t even believe it myself. J has told people – although his story is slightly different from mine. His is more “What I did was wrong but things have been bad for years” and mine is more “my husband cheated on me with my best friend *insert sobbing and panic attack here*”
There are a few reasons I haven’t told many people;
I haven’t told neighbors because J is still living in the house. We have made many friends in our neighborhood and I don’t want them to feel like they have to choose sides. I guess a little part of me is doing it so J doesn’t have to face it – I know I don’t have to do that – I shouldn’t be “protecting” him.
I haven’t told many of my friends because – well – I don’t know. I don’t want to just post a status update on Facebook saying – MY MARRIAGE IS OVER. I also don’t want to do it through email. Also; all our friends are mostly mutual and, again, I don’t want them to have to choose sides between J and I. Of course they don’t have to – they can remain friends with both of us – they just might feel uncomfortable doing that.
Some family members know that I moved back home with my mom and Dad but they don’t know why. They are going to be the hardest to tell. I have no idea if they are going to support me or not.
I am also debating whether or not to share this blog with my friends and family. I am not sure that I want to share these emotions and feelings with them. On the other hand – I really need their support. I will admit that if I knew they read my blog posts – I might be hesitant about writing certain things.
Another fear that I have is the lasting scars this will leave on me. While I have great support right now - I am afraid that it might not last. Will our mutual friends eventually fade? Will I still be hurting and lonely next year – and will the people that are supporting me now be just as concerned about me then? What if I have no one?
5 comments:
For the time being, I would probably NOT share this place with friends and family, other than a bestie or two you can really count on. You need it to be a safe place, where you can say whatever you want... at least for a while.
I'm so sorry, hon, but I'm sure you know you're doing the right thing.
I truly hope everyone in your life surprises you with their love and support.
xoxo
You're right - I'm gonna take your advice.
Thank you LiLu - your the bestttt
Just found your blog and I think your amazing for getting through this! I hope the blogging world and your real world can help you find a whole new definition of happiness.
Your friend sucks by the way.
Keep writing!
I completely agree with Lilu, it might be best to save the sharing (of your blog) with people until you're ready for their questions etc, and in the end you may decide not to share it at all.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you! The people you count on most really can suck sometimes!!
I'm like you in some ways - when bad things happen to me I don't tell people. I generally do it in a hurried phone call, if it has to be done, always starting the call with "don't say anything, I don't want to talk about it, but...". I can't begin to imagine how you feel but I hope maybe talking things through here helps you a tiny bit. xx
@ Suzie - thanks for the support and your right - that bish sucks!
@ Jen - thanks for the support - getting this all out does help
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