Monday I had my therapy session where we discussed my panic attacks. I told her how I thought it was because I don't have any control over my life right now and that I'm fearful of whats to come...
I also discussed something else with her...
"M has a 1 1/2 year old little girl. How do I know that J isn't the father? The only thing I could do would be to ask her husband...."
I then explained to her that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. He has been "the father" and he loves her and do I really want to put that thought...
"STOP" she said.
"You are too worried about other people. You are too worried about 'what if I do this' and all the consequences. You aren't angry enough! If you want to call J and scream at him, do it! If you want to call M's husband and ask 'do you know who's baby that is?' then do it!"
"All this stuff is building up inside you and making you worry and have panic attacks. You have to train your brain to realize that there are some things you do not have control over and there is no sense in worrying over things you cannot control"
"Now, lets breath together".....
In......Out.....In.....Out......
"Relaxsssssssss"
*side note; she taught me diaphragmatic breathing - I do a set of 3 every hour to keep my mind focused
1 comment:
Panic attacks are the worst. When i was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a former boy friend I would get them three nights a week. They were horrible. It was my body's way of saying something was wrong....
Two years out of that hell hole and the attacks have ceased completely. Stay strong. Breathe.
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