Just me...and me.

There was a time, just a few months ago, when I was dying of loneliness. There was one day in particular that I remember; I was sitting by myself, snowed-in in an empty house shaking and crying. I was emotionally destroyed over the thought that I had to spend the day by myself. I felt empty, scared, and deserted. Who was going to sip hot chocolate and snuggle with me on the couch? Who was I going to talk to, what was I going to do all day? I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I didn’t want to have to feel the emptiness of being lonely.

Today is the last of ten days that I have spent alone. Yes, alone…ten wonderful and relaxing days alone. I am sad that it is coming to an end but the family must return from vacation some time. Recently I have found myself craving alone time. I have been day dreaming about being stranded alone in the wild with nothing but my own thoughts to occupy my time. I want to sit alone and read a book or go for a drive and listen to the music. I find myself envious (and proud!) of my friend who just recently upped and moved away all by herself to a new and unfamiliar city. I want that. I want to wander and discover new things by myself. It’s not so bad being alone. I am comfortable with myself, I like myself. I know I am okay, I know I am sufficient for myself, and that I will always get by.

I am sure that this period of self exploration and discovery will come to an end, as all things do, but for now…it’s just me and me. And that is A – OK.