I have been living back at home for 5 months now. For the first time this week I had the urge to just pack up and move the hell out. I remember having that feeling at 18 and then moving out the day after graduation. I am trying to just deal but its hard when everyone in my house is PMS'ing all together (that includes the guys). Okay, its always easy to make a joke about it - but seriously - this week has been bad at home. Since when do people just walk in the door and automatically start bitching. Where is the "hi, how are you?". I have worked so hard to not become them...to not have the attitude...to not take my bad day out on others. I hate being surrounded by that crap, it brings you down.
Dating is another thing that has been eating away at my brain this week. I just can't find the balance that I need between casually dating and a relationship. I find myself needing more and then wanting less. Why can't I find that balance? Its like I need someone to talk to, to be there, someone to give me a hug and pick me up when I need it. But I don't want commitment. I know that I just got out of a marriage - there is no way I can be in a relationship. But yet I feel myself looking for a connection.
It doesn't help that I over think things wayyy too much. I over analyze everything. Why can't I just simplify things and compartmentalize them and live my life?
I don't know where Positive Patty went...but she needs to come back. NOW.
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